Yesterday, I got to be on a lake for the first time this year and ski again. But when my marriage ended many years ago, one of the hardest things I had to let go of was lake life. Not the nestling-in-with-a-good-book-glass-of-wine-and-perfect-lake-view kind of lake life, but the being pulled-behind-a-boat-chasing-the-perfect-water-on-my-one-ski kind of lake life. It might seem silly or trite. Privileged and materialistic even. And yes, it is all of that. But for me it was so much more.
For those of you who have been through a divorce or suffered through a major break, you know that often it is the smallest of things that are the hardest. A favorite song. A certain smell. That one thing you learned to do with “him, her or them.” For me, it was learning how to get up and ski on one ski with my “him” and our best friend Paul who passed away. Having to let go of waterskiing is what broke me.
But the thing about being broken is that you get to put the pieces back together in your own way. In your own time. With new highs and new lows. With new friends and new adventures. With the heartache of being broken. And with all of the joys from your life before.
I don’t get to ski very often anymore but when I do, it fills me with hope and joy. It brings back so many memories. And, just as it always has, it makes me smile from the inside out.